How To Deal With Family Members During The Holidays

Dated: 12/06/2018

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For some the holidays are a special time, perhaps the only time all year they get to see other family members.

As special as these occasions are, we all know a family—it might even be your family—for whom get-togethers are often fraught with trepidation, concern, and in some cases fear, because of the behavior of one family member. That individual predictably, in his or her unique way, manages to say the wrong thing, act out inappropriately, irritate others, contrives to be the center of attention, arrives late and expects you to wait yet again, or is never happy and wants you to suffer also.

These socially toxic individuals don’t care whom they inconvenience, irritate, or hurt. They are not mindful of others. If their disruptions ruin a long-awaited, carefully planned family Reunion, in their eyes, so be it—and it is never their fault.

Regardless of how much you love them, you're bound to run into an uncomfortable, annoying or tense situation with a family member at some point — especially during the holidays when so many personalities are congregated around the table. "Know that nothing will ever What you can do is come prepared with tactics to diffuse the unavoidable interactions with certain characters that have a seat at the holiday dinner perfect, you can’t change people, and this is just a natural aspect of being part of a family.

The holidays present many wonderful opportunities to bond with family, but this time of year can also present significant stress, particularly when family conflict arises. Some conflict can come from having to decide which relatives to see if any.

Some ways to divide up your time over the holidays and handle conflicts and holiday stress that may arise.

Take Turns with Relatives

If you and your spouse both want to celebrate with your families of origin, if you're dealing with a divorce situation where not everybody wants to celebrate together or if you just have a lot of family, it can be stressful deciding who to see, and when. Taking turns is an easy solution. If you see one group in November, see the other in December, or alternate years. Then you can eventually see everybody.

Host Celebrations At Your House 

If the stress of traveling each year is more than you'd like to handle, you may want to have family over to your home for the holidays. This is also a good solution when you have too many groups or relatives to take turns seeing: invite everyone to celebrate together, and you will get to see everyone more often. While this won't work in every situation, it can build bonds between groups of relatives that may not know one another very well.

Be Prepared For Some Conflict 

If you usually have conflict when you get together with your family, it's a good idea to be prepared for it. I'm not suggesting that you go looking for trouble, but rather, approach the situation with a sense of realism. If your mother always criticizes your appearance or your brother always makes rude jokes, don't expect them to change their habits; just have a sense of humor about it and remind yourself what you love about them and enjoy the holidays!

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Manuel Quiros

My name is Manny Quiros, I’m a real estate professional in the “Disney Area”, I have lived in this area since 1999 and have called this area my home and place my wife and I to raise our three wo....

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